casual intimacy kills me every time. grand gestures are cute and all but seeing two people who are just totally comfortable with having each other in their space, who dont think twice about leaning into each other and thoughtlessly holding each other while doing unrelated things….. thats love
My biggest pet peeve is being talked to AS SOON as i wake up. I hate that shit. Stop tryin to communicate with me. Stop askin me questions. Im tryna understand the universe all over again dont talk to me yet ur gonna confuse me and piss me off.
Anonymous murmured: I'm tired of turning blue in the face trying to tell black women they deserve better. So many Tumblr famous black girls actually think Hennessey and Uno is a date... and telling the girls with standards "they lost sight of what a real date is and that a date can just be you guys chilling at home eating fishsticks" I'm tired. There's no helping them, they really think giving pussy for Wendy's or McDonalds is the good trophy. I'm tired, I don't want to give up on BW but it seems hopeless. 😣😣
It’s not giving up. It’s called self-preservation. I stopped doing it too. I realized that doing the same thing over and over again just to get the same result is the definition of insanity, and I’m sorry but my mental health matters. At some point, you have to come to the realization that you can’t save every black woman. Most of us like the circumstances that we’re in. A lot of us are addicted to pain, drama and trauma. So things like struggling and bottom dwelling are really appealing. When women like us come along and say, “Hey! You don’t have to struggle. You deserve better. Here are some alternative ways…”, we get attacked for it. You have to leave those people behind for your own sake even if they look just like you.
It’s not being condesending either. That shit effects other black women who don’t want to bottom dwell!
My roommate just the other week had to suffer through a date where the person thought it was okay to get liquor from the store and drink on the street…?
It’s insane. Only black women get type set like this too.
Help yourself before you help any one else, though. You really can’t be of any use if you are not doing for yourself first. It’s another trap that black women fall into. Self care is actually a form of protest for black women.
I feel attacked. Cause this whole post is me.
I feel bad cuz I don’t have to go out on fancy dates to consider it a date but then again I’ve never been on a fancy date. Never been picked up, never wore a dress or heels, never been to an upscale restaurant, never even been asked on a date. I can seriously just chill at home, get take out and watch movies and it’s a date to me 🤷🏽♀️
^^^^^ Same.
It’s not a problem if that that’s what YOU like and prefer. Part of black women being free is having the option to choose what makes them happy and what matters to them. If lowkey or chilling or “simple”(the examples are vast) things are your preferred kind of dates, then go for it.
I think the problem op is talking about is the one where you think that’s all you deserve and can get, especially when you want different or more. When a black woman wants to be asked out to fancy dates and do the whole expensive restaurant and all those things that are considered high standards and whatnot, but she thinks she doesn’t deserve it or could never ask for it because society expects her to be grateful for whatever crumbs it throws her way. And the men who approach her act like she’s high maintenance and unreasonable for wanting that.
Drag me.
I think I’m a mix. I do like the Uno and Hennessy thing but I would like to be asked out to a popping ass restaurant from time to time. It’s such an unattainable thing for me though, I just feel like I should be thankful for any time with someone I’m attracted to. Part of it is being shown this is how dates should be (restaurant, dressed up, doors opened, etc). Am I breaking tradition or settling because I don’t believe I could do better with someone I’m attracted to?? I’m in my feelings now. Lmao. This is something to think about.
A LOT of this is childhood traumas of being the ugly friend and low self esteem. Let’s just stir the pot with all my spices.
Really tired of black people attacking black girls for not laying their edges. Most of y’all who lay edges are just tryna cover up the fact that you don’t have ant. Y’all do this all the damn time. Our hair don’t look like light skin 3b girls and all the sudden we’re messy and nappy headed.
you don’t have to be more attractive. you don’t have to be attractive at all. you don’t have to attract anyone or anything. you are not a magnet, damn it. you should be you for you and only you. and yes I am talking about you and you and you.
